We’re having a beer at the pub, and me being me, I’m being an asshole. Possessing a particular knack for calling people out can be a blessing or a curse, depending on how you use it. He had facebooked me, asking if I was busy while I was surfing in Central America. “You were ridiculous” I chide him, and grin. “You knew I was going to be gone. Are you high.”
“I couldn’t” He says.
“I couldn’t, you know, let you think you went to Costa Rica for two weeks and I didn’t care.”
I hadn’t expected that. I smile.
“Well,” – And I’m feeling bolder – “If it makes you feel any better I did go to the reunion with the intention of flirting with you. My boss said, ‘Really? A high school reunion’ and I said, ‘I’m gonna flirt with a guy from summer school! I have a plan!’”
He grins. “It sealed the deal for me. Abbie Cooper’s going? Done.”
There’s a blush of something, and we’re touching under the table. And I don’t know what the hell feelings are, because it’s been so long, but I think these are feelings.
And then there’s a spark. We walk down near the beach and I turn on my heels, short pressed up again him. “I think you should kiss me” I say, “I know that you want to” And he does. He does and up on my toes I feel the universe wake up again. The power lines buzz and the punks of Ventura run down main street, but there is no one else in the world, nothing but electric. Nothing at all.
“Let’s find a place”
We sit, my legs across his lap, and we can’t keep our hands off each other or our faces apart. It’s bad. We know it. “We should get out of here” I giggle “They hate us”. But we can’t stop. Whispering. Leaning in. He has a hand between my knees and I’m breathing onto his neck, telling secrets in his ear. There is nothing but electric. Nothing at all.
There is vodka and electric. There is sin in the air.
“Let’s get out of here.”
It’s too much, I think. It’s too much and it’s too fast. But I’m lost in the blur. I feel something. It isn’t love, but it’s something. It’s lurid and blinding and new. And we should wait but we can’t wait, and it’s in the darkness and – And your hand pulls behind my back, into you, and we move quiet,. Then laughing, kissing, pulling back, embarrassed, scared, unsure, but wanting.
In the morning, you ask me not to go, but I have to. Okay I don’t have to. Okay but I’m saying I have to because it’s too soon to act like I have nowhere else to be. You kiss me goodbye, and it’s only then I realize it’s the first time I’ve kissed an unfamiliar mouth in about four years.
The day moves on. I visit my friends, I have my day. But I’m bursting from the inside out. Then It’s quiet, it’s dark in my room, and then I hear my phone.
“You should be here” he says “I would like that”
And I try to sleep, but I can’t. There is neon buzzing in my veins. Electric, electric, electric.
There we go.